The Art of Being Alone

    It's interesting, getting older and watching the people around you go on different paths and see the different ways people enjoy their life. Some people my age enjoying getting through their week days just to live for two short days, arguably three depending on who you ask, while other people enjoy the simplicity of staying at home alone practicing their skin routine. What about those of us that are in between? Don't get me wrong, many people balance both and are completely content and happy, however what about those of us that move away from everyone that we know or even have everyone we know move away from us? Friends go away for college or new jobs or even just a new change of scenery. If the relationships that we have with those that move are truly important to us, those relationships don't just go away, but they aren't the same through a screen and hundreds and thousands of miles away. So those of us that want to go out and have a crazy Friday night or Sunday morning brunch with our best girlfriends are screwed. 

    Everyone always says, "well hey, you should join a club or start a new hobby!" As great and probably efficient these suggestions are, these people don't keep in mind that some people are not club people, let alone hobby people. More props to ya if it is; you probably have lots of friends! However, what is left for the rest of us? Meeting people off of social media is always fun, but also absolutely terrifying and essentially the same as having a long distance friend unless by the luck of the stars they live within 20 minutes of you. No matter how hard you try, through small talk in your apartment's elevator to trying to talk to people at the gym, you still end up eating a whole pint of ice cream and watching Sex in the City for the thirteenth time in a row feeling sorry for yourself and wondering what is wrong with you. Then after all the cynicism starts to fade away, the question presents itself; what if it is a good thing you're stuck all by yourself?

    For a long time, I was so uncomfortable being completely alone and isolated from everyone I know, but after a while I started to figure out who I was and how important it is to be alone with yourself for longer than a few moments. Not only are you faced with the problems that you've been distracting yourself from, but you are also presented with new possibilities and new destinations. Once you've begun unpacking all your damage and all those pesky problems, you start to feel lighter and realize just how great it is being alone. Granted, you still have your friends that you can talk to over the phone and send silly memes to, but the power you start to have once you realize being alone isn't all that bad is remarkable. You start to hold yourself to higher standards and are able to really find peace in your day to day life. I think it's also important to acknowledge that the journey within the art of being alone has its ups and downs and that it's okay.

    I find myself drowning in self pity when I am alone on a Saturday night every once in a while, but on those days I still find myself learning more about myself and being able to make myself feel better, whether it's through unhealthy habits or healthy ones. I really love being alone now. That being said though, I wouldn't complain if a made a few new friends or had the love of my life finally decide he wanted to put in the work, but the important takeaway is that I am okay with being alone. Even though the work is not yet done here inside my little brain, the ride has begun it ascent again and it's something I wouldn't have thought I would have been so grateful for. That's the thing about growth though isn't it? You never know what little things will change your perspective in your early-twenty-somethings, and that is beautiful within itself.